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102. How to Be Happy For Your Newly Engaged Friends While You're Still Single

About Monet:

Monet, as the founder of a ministry called "A Message of Hope" aimed at guiding high school and college students in living out their faith, morals, and identity. Monet has been running this ministry for nearly four years and also serves as a middle school director in the Archdiocese of Boston. Her work involves helping students ranging from middle school to young adults understand their value and the love of the Father.

Words from Monet:

"I began to root out comparison and truly embrace gratitude about two years ago. I started by listing all the couples who are dating, married, or engaged, and I make it a point to pray for them during adoration. Additionally, I also compile a list of my single friends and pray for them, hoping they'll find their vocation. However, I've noticed that the pool of my single friends is shrinking, and that can be a bit overwhelming. The lie that can quickly seep in, especially for women, is the question, 'What is wrong with me? What am I doing wrong that leaves me single at the end of the day?'

This is far from the truth. It's not something we can control. I don't know if you encountered this during your single years, but I've had people in my life, probably in their 40s and older, who offer advice that comes from a good place but doesn't necessarily help. They often say, 'Just get out there and start dating.' It's not that simple. Unless you expect me to suddenly take on the pursuit role that traditionally belongs to the guy, it's not as easy as snapping my fingers to get a date or find a partner.

There's a need to reframe this notion that something is inherently wrong with me because I'm single, especially when people several years younger are already starting their families. I think it's a combination of pressure from the Catholic community and the environment on my campus and in my young adult group. There's also the self-imposed pressure. It's important to acknowledge these pressures, recognize them, and then move forward from there."

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