Why is it important to use your time to nurture your relationship with Jesus while single?
You can use the season of singleness in so many different ways, but it is so important to use this time wisely. This is the most time you will have on your hands before stepping into your vocation. It is easy to focus on every man that came your way as an opportunity to be your future husband. This is not a healthy mindset to have. However, your main focus in a season of singleness should be God and building a relationship with Him. Although you might have a lot going on, this season is one in which you are independent and you don’t have someone relying on you in a vocational way. You can make time to build a relationship with Christ somewhere in your day and it’s huge for you to prepare your heart for your future vocation.
What does this look like on a practical level?
1) Find an accountability partner–sister, roommate, friend, missionary, etc. Whether it’s going to mass together or praying together, the power of community and accountability is huge! If you can’t find a community, take initiative and search out. If you are on a college campus see if you have FOCUS missionaries, otherwise find or start a Catholic community group.
2) Learn about the Catholic faith. We live in a world where resources are becoming more and more abundant. This is one of the main reasons I created the Abundantly Yours podcast. I wanted you to be able to learn about the faith & receive encouragement on tough topics. Send an episode to a friend who needs to hear about a particular topic! If there is a topic that you would love to see as a podcast episode, please contact me, I’m always open to suggestions!
3) Make prayer your top priority and a daily habit. Have you heard of the term “out of sight, out of mind” when it comes to reducing how much time you spend on your phone or to limit snacking on unhealthy foods? Reverse that term to “in sight, in mind” when it comes to prayer. Put your bible by the breakfast you will eat in the morning. Set a rosary on top of your phone so you grab that before your phone. Make a corner in your room or home to be totally devoted to prayer.
4) Follow Catholic Influencers. When I see someone on Instagram share about their prayer or what they did for their daily prayer, I am more prone to turn off my phone and pray myself than to keep scrolling through my feed.
How does it look differently than what the world is offering?
When it comes to dating, the world offers so much–good & bad. (Check out episode #24) Busyness is a top offer from the world and is something we can all become a victim to no matter your current season. While you are in a time of singleness, the devil will be working on pulling you as far away from Jesus as possible. I encourage you to locate the places that cause you to fall away, detox and remove them from your life, and in turn use that time to grow in relationship with God.
How can you have a healthy relationship with the opposite gender while single?
When it comes to having a relationship with the opposite gender, we can get caught on two different extremes–seeing them as a future spouse or avoiding them at all costs. As women, we can get so emotionally caught up in a man and picture your entire life with him and you have zero romantic relationship with him. On the opposite side, you can avoid the opposite gender out of fear until they approach you. It can be difficult to find the place in the middle, but when you notice yourself on one end of the spectrum, pray with what may be causing you to feel that way.
The best way to approach the other gender is by building a friendship. You might not be meeting up with them one-on-one but in a group you can have a conversation with them, like anyone else. You may notice things about them that are good and holy, and you may even find attractive, but you can still focus on this person as a son/daughter of God. They are not your boyfriend. They are not my husband. It’s just having a conversation with someone as friends would.
What is one piece of advice you want every young Catholic woman to know?
“Give yourself a lot of grace. Wherever you are in life, it’s important that we’re seeking out holiness. The path to sainthood is hard and it’s okay if we fall along the way.” -Alyssa